Saturday, October 15, 2011

AS.100.369: Roosevelt Invents the Big Game Safari

Teddy Roosevelt: After three days on safari, have yet to take quinine--real American men should go into the tropics without any anti-malarial protection. I firmly believe a sound immune system is the sign of sound physical rigor and moral character.   (May 1, 1909 at 7:43 a.m.)

Teddy Roosevelt: Feeling feverish. Probably just the heat. (May 2, 1909 at 1:37 p.m.)

Teddy Roosevelt: Laying down for just a moment to regain my strength. (May 2, 1909 at 6:12 p.m.)

Teddy Roosevelt: Vomited. (May 2, 1909 at 6:15 p.m.)

22 comments:

  1. TedEBear58: Got my rifle in my hand, my hunting bros by my side, and the thrill of the chase ahead of me #justcallmethelionking (April 29, 1909 at 1:30 p.m.)

    TedEBear58: I have become at one with the spirit of the wilderness #trippingout (May 12, 1909 at 10:45 p.m.)

    TedEBear58: @Furst$on is not man enough to kill any big game. I'll have to send the brat back to Harvard if he keeps killing antelope #formerpresidentproblems (May 19, 1909 at 9:15 a.m.)

    TedEBear58: Trying to fight off the asthma and heat exhaustion. I would bless the rains down in Africa right about now. #toohawt (June 1, 1909 at 12:00 p.m.)

    TedEBear58: Those pesky crocs took a snap at me again today. Good thing my native porter was between us. #formerpresidentproblems (June 6, 1909 at 5:30 p.m.)

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  2. TRRoughrider: Hearing so many crazy stories from this guy Selous, can't wait to one up him #storytopper (March 29, 1909)

    TRRoughrider: Ridin the railroad, getting excited for my safari. Brought along the kid so he can get some manly experience #killingismanly (April 23, 1909)

    TRRoughrider: This heat is really getting to me, I don't know how much longer I can go without asking this native to put me down #lazyamericans

    TRRoughrider: Killed a couple of lions today, no thanks to Kermit. He just kept trying to kill it cleanly #ittakesatleastthreeshots

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  3. Lion_Slayer_TR: Wild beasts and native savages in Africa are so old school. #pleistocene #getonmylevel

    Lion_Slayer_TR: Torrential downpours here remind me of that time I built the Panama Canal. #goodtimes #imtheman

    Lion_Slayer_TR: Train just slaughtered a rhinoceros. Upset that the engine might be damaged. Damn wild beasts. #safariproblems

    Lion_Slayer_TR: Natives at train station are naked, only wearing headdresses. #wherestheparty?

    Lion_Slayer_TR: Heard some newspaper in Boston is slandering my trip to Africa. Do they know who I am? #folly

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  4. Teddy "The Lion" Roosevelt: Currently on board the Admiral, drinking Cognac while Edgar Mearns skins a Goliath Heron on my bed. Easy on the feathers, Ed! (April 14, 1909 at 11:42 pm)

    Teddy "The Lion" Roosevelt: In the game reserve of the Uganda Railway. I'm seeing many beautiful creatures today! (May 11, 1909 at 11:02 am)

    Teddy "The Lion" Roosevelt: Our train just hit a hyena! Life doesn't get much more exciting! (May 11, 1909 at 11:07 am)

    Teddy "The Lion" Roosevelt: Considered wrestling a leopard today, but now I have my sights set on a lioness. The lion is, after all, the most dangerous hunt! (June 17, 1909 at 4:05 pm)

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  5. Taft_isa_Guineapig: Likes Bonne and Crockett Club

    Taft_isa_Guineapig: Off to British East Africa with the Smithsonian #totallylegitimateoperationandnotjustanexcusetohunt
    LilRoosevelt likes this status

    Taft_isa_Guineapig: If it takes less than your entire magazine of bullets to kill a lion, maybe you’re not hunting big enough game!
    Companions: How much time did you say you spend out in the American West again?
    John Muir: Thought our camping trip changed your views on nature...?

    Colonial Administration: @ Taft_isa_Guineapig when does your hunting permit expire?

    Taft_isa_Guineapig: River crossing today was difficult… thank goodness my shoes were waterproof, my porter more or less let my feet dangle. #findgoodhelpthesedays

    Taft_isa_Guineapig changed his profile picture(tagged LilRoosevelt and 512 mammals)

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  6. The Bull Moose: Traveling from Napels to East Africa with @Selous. He has such a way with words. I hope the stories in my safari narrative will be as eloquent and engaging as his.

    The Bull Moose: At a farm in #Mombasa run by quite an impressive colored man who is a practicing doctor. How marvelous this race can be after receiving a white education.

    The Bull Moose: Pretty disappointed. @Kermit shot two babies instead of their mother. At least we won't get in trouble since we have official documentation from the Smithsonian.

    The Bull Moose: Home! Starting the narrative, hoping all readers will enjoy the tales of a real rough rider hunting sportsman.

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  7. WildChild_TR: @Selous your stories about the #wilderness are #enchanting

    WildChild_TR: Our train ran over a lioness today #winning

    WildChild_TR: Can't wait to take a hot bath after a long day's worth of hunting #swag

    WildChild_TR: Lion hunting! #eyeontheprize #whoslandisitnow

    WildChild_TR: @BostonNewspaper stop trashing my safari #sorryimnotsorry

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  8. Tha_Real_TeddyR: keep talking smack, boston #aslongasyouspellmynameright #hatethatdirtywater

    Tha_Real_TeddyR: I only hunt for science (except for the animals used as food, and the elephant donated to UCal, and the rhino for the museum in NY, oh and the 12 or so trophies for members of our expedition...)#dealwithit

    Tha_Real_TeddyR: shout out to my boy @CarlAkeley for killing a leopard with his bare hands #totalfratmove

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  9. WildChild_TR: @Tha_Real_TeddyR #hatethatdirtywater is right

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  10. TheTrustBUSTER: Traveled on Governor Jackson’s special train. Totally amazing and such comfortable seating. #VIPstatus (April 22, 1909 at 1:05 pm)

    TheTrustBUSTER: Finally arrived at Kapiti Plains! Ready to hunt. #leggo (April 26, 1909 at 3:15 pm)

    TheTrustBUSTER: Took a nice hot bath. Never a cold bath, obviously. Not good when you’re in the tropics. #safetycomesfirst (April 26, 1909 at 8:35 pm)

    TheTrustBUSTER: So it looks like I have to wear a sun helmet b/c the locals say I should. Missing my slouch hat. #ugh (April 27, 1909 at 8:20 am)

    TheTrustBUSTER: OMG omg FINALLY got a lion!!! Kermit, Sir Alfred, and I literally fired almost all at the same time. all by ourselves. w/ no professional hunters around. #whatsgood #thethreemusketeers (May 1, 1909 at 3:45 pm)

    TheTrustBUSTER: Got another one. But it was a half-grown male. Darn. #nbd (May 3, 1909 at 1:15 pm)

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  11. Nature_L0v3r: My tent boy, @Ali, carried me over an extremely dangerous river today – without my strength, I could have died. (May 4, 1909 at 5:06 p.m.)

    Nature_L0v3r: #Nature is brutal. #whitemanproblems (May 4, 1909 at 7:47 p.m)

    Nature_L0v3r: Hearing all these great hunting stories – can’t wait to have one of my own. (May 4, 1909 at 9:22 p.m.)

    Nature_L0v3r: Using up lots of bullets. #huntingproblems (May 14, 1909 at 1:31 p.m.)

    Nature_L0v3r: Killed some lions today. Thanks for the help @Sir Alfred. (May 17, 1909 at 6:16 p.m.)

    Nature_L0v3r: Thinking I should write a book. (May 20, 1909 at 8:32 a.m.)

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  12. TDRLion: Real men go on African safaris

    TDRLion: We need to preserve this wilderness so that there will always be plenty of animals to collect #biggamehunter

    TDRLIon: Contributed to science by shooting three lions today #naturalist

    TDRLion: To all the people complaining about our hunting, you benefit from our research too. Plus it's fun #defensiveshooter

    TDRLion: heading back into white civilization, someone has to show these pansies how to reach their inner manhood

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  13. Ted_E_Rose: pumped to put on my new hunting gear from brooks brothers for this african safari adventure! #TFM

    Ted_E_Rose: props to my bro @selous_2 for killing a that lion on the kapiti plains, what a #bamf

    Ted_E_Rose: almost out of bullets for the day, what is wrong with these animals??

    Ted_E_Rose: Kermie is on the hunt! #prouddad

    Ted_E_Rose: Kermie killed the wildebeest #justlikedad

    Ted_E_Rose: I think Kermit would be a great name for a frog puppet...

    Ted_E_Rose: Why so many haters? My hunting expedition was glorious! #mushyemotionalists #wimps #environmentsaver

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  14. The_BigStick: Bagged some lions today, I missed a couple times, maybe grazed him on my third shot, then me Kermit and Alfred all took him down at the same time...probably my kill though. #ImtheMAN(May 1, 1909)

    The_BigStick: Real men hunt animals that don't go down with just one shot. #INeedSomeMore Bullets #GetOnMyLEvel (May 1, 1909)

    The_BigStick: Me and Simba took down a lion today, wasn't about to jump back up on my horse, way too manly for that...and a bit old. Would have gotten him in two shots if Simba hadn't been fidgeting while i rested my gun on his shoulder.

    The_BigStick: Decided Africa should shave all these damn male lions' manes...makes them look lie their closer than they are and I keep missing. (May 3, 1909)

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  15. FormerPrezTR: Just got back from a long day hunting, my back hurts because of the way my porter carried me. Off to take a nice warm bath.

    FormerPrezTR: Ate dinner in the dinning tent, food was atrocious. #whatdothesepeopleeat?

    FormerPrezTR: Off to bed in my elevated cot.

    BigChiefTaft: @FormerPrezTR #roughingitarewe?

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  16. RoughnToughTR: just doing my duty and going to Africa to save the animals from savagery and extinction #proudtobeanamerican #thirdworldproblems

    RoughnToughTR: the only kind of game worth hunting is big game and these weak natives need to stop preying on other animals #getatme #whocaresifiamahypocrite

    RoughnToughTR: love getting wild on the safari! good thing I have my team with me so that I don't have to walk across the river by myself #havetokeepmykickslookingfresh

    RoughnToughTR: found a government farm run by a jamaican man. he is actually competent! we even met a colored doctor. amazing! #lovewhentheinferiorracesurprisesyou #thankgodforwhiteinfluence

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  17. Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: Roughing it today. Shout out to my boy @TheRealMarkTwain!

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: Realized we need to bring some more white people up in huurrrr. Like this status if you’re interested.
    1 person likes this

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. A giraffe knocked out the power… NBD.

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: Saw too many naked men today. #toomany*****onthesafari
    Mrs.TedERose likes this

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: @Kermit_the_Frog and I could hardly sleep tonight. Attack of the ticks! #hatethoselilbastards
    Kermit_the_Frog: Stop posting on Facebook Dad!

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: RIP to all the hyena victims this month.

    Teddy “RoughRidaaa” Roosevelt: Shot some lion cubs today. I was hoping for some bigger game. Oh well, just gonna brush it off and sing a-wimoweh, a-wimoweh as I go.

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  18. Roughrider1: Feeling bad but not missing the lion hunt. Won't give in now. Need to get Natural History Museum new specimens.

    Roughrider1: Killed a lioness. Progress for science!

    Roughrider1: Glad for railroad. May need to head home soon. Feeling a bit off.

    Roughrider1: Proud of game reserves. Big accomplishment. Makes sure there is lots of game to shoot, stuff and take north for educational purposes.


    Roughrider1: Bully for Kermit. Killed his first cheetah!

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  19. TeddybReady2kill: Getting the Smithsonian to support my safari worked. WOWOWOW. Can't believe it! #2EASYTOHAVEFUN

    TeddybReady2kill: I love game reserves! <3 Me and my boy Simba doing work out here #2legit

    TeddybReady2kill: Guys, I'm not a great hunter. Should I have natives carry me across the river so that way I don't ruin my official Under Armor hunting boots?

    TeddybReady2kill: 2 late...

    TeddybReady2kill: Doing some more "scientific collecting" today HAHA.

    TeddybReady2kill: Guys I was using quotations in a totally legitimate fashion. I WAS NOT trying to show sarcasm. Didn't realize that I had so many followers on twitter. #honestmistake

    TeddybReady2kill: Once again, I'm killing for science. All of this talk of me killing to take out some childhood aggression is bs #TRUTH

    TeddybReady2kill: Got that lion in 12 shots. He didn't seem to be in that much pain. #newrecord

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  20. Teddy26theBOSS: the damn giraffes got tangled in more wires, no more telegraph #needsomehigherwires.

    TeddytheBOSS26: i think we should have brought another ton of salt, 4 is definitely not enough #safarimanproblems

    TeddytheBOSS26: there has to be something wrong with these guns, they don’t shoot far enough #itsdefinitelynotmyaim

    TeddytheBOSS26: I killed the lion, you think the porters could carry it back to camp faster #firstworldpains

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  21. Game_Killer: antelopes are for noobs! real men kill stuff with claws!

    Game_Killer: the Smithsonian is going to be so excited, i've go a whole set now! male, female and lion cubs--Kermit and Alfred claimed to have helped--don't listen to them.

    Game_Killer: the porters are really incompetent--they got dirt on my trophy kills while carrying them back.

    Game_Killer:i heard some wimps up in @boston got a problem with my hunting--why don't you take the train down to meet me and say that to my face!

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  22. TREEZY: Could not be happier to have my sons with me on this fine expedition. I hope this will do wonders for him and upon our return he can tell all his friends of his affluence and masculinity

    TREEZY: Railroad is CLUTCH.

    TREEZY: Heat, disease, humidity, danger, mystery, lions, tigers, bears GOODNESS

    TREEZY: A whole family of giant cats in a New York Minute #Bostonhasnothingonthis

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